Fucked Sports™

William Ligue Jr., best known for running out of the crowd with his 15 year old son in 2002 and attacking the Kansas City Royals first base coach during a game against the White Sox, was sentenced to almost 5 years in prison for a probation violation. Ligue was charged with breaking into a car and leading the police on a short chase in April 2004. AHHH, THIS IS JUSTICE AT ITS BEST…NOW HE CAN SEE WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE ATTACKED FROM BEHIND…

Boston Red Sox pitcher David Wells said that he does not want Barry Bonds to pass Babe Ruth on the all-time home run list, which Bonds only needs 7 to do. Wells acknowledged Bond’s baseball ability but also said Barry should “be a man and come out and say that he did it” if he used steroids….If you’re guilty and you got caught, come clean. I think you can get a lot more respect from people than [by] lying”. YEAH, TAKE A TIP FROM DAVID WELLS…DIDN’T YOU SEE HOW MUCH RESPECT HE GOT WHEN HE ADMITTED THAT HE WAS DRUNK WHEN HE PITCHED A PERFECT GAME?

One day after suffering a stroke, Hall of Famer Kirby Puckett died at age 45. The 10-time all-star led the Minnesota Twins to two World Series titles in 1987 and 1991. Puckett’s career was cut short when he was diagnosed with glaucoma in his right eye, which caused him to lose his sight in that eye. He was a career .318 hitter and 6-time Gold Glove winner in centerfield. SAY WHAT YOU WANT ABOUT HIS OFF THE FIELD REPUTATION, BUT THIS GUY WAS ONE HELL OF A PLAYER, AND PLAYED WITH ENTHUSIASM THAT YOU DON’T SEE MUCH ANYMORE…

Chicago Cubs pitcher Kerry Wood will have minor surgery on his right knee on Tuesday, this is just another seemingly-routine injury for the 28 year-old. He was not expected to be ready at the start of the season to begin with, and has been working on getting healthy after surgery on his right shoulder in late August. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? FOR HOW MUCH MONEY THE CUBS HAVE INVESTED IN THIS GUY, THEY’RE GETTING SOME PRETTY SHITTY LUMBER…

Two girls invited Red Sox General Manager Theo Epstein to their high school prom, but he decided not to escort them. Epstein apparently met the girls while down in Florida, and they went to the Red Sox training facility bearing signs that read “Will you go to the prom with me?” SORRY LADIES, NO SUCH LUCK….BUT HEY, I KNOW A GUY NAMED KOBE WHO MIGHT JUST DO IT!

Rather than compete for a spot on the Washington Nationals roster, Sammy Sosa would just as soon hang up his cleats and call it a career. The Nationals offered Sosa a one-year, $500,000 non-guaranteed contract in what they feel would be an insurance policy for their questionable outfield heading into the season.

This is the only contract offer Sosa has received this off-season.

Sosa was released by the Baltimore Orioles after a disappointing year in which he got paid $17 million to hit .221 and drive in 45 RBI’s while hitting only 14 home runs in 102 games.

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2328640

What a fall from grace, huh? The man is 12 home runs shy of 600 and teams won’t even give him a look for their roster. I’d like to say that its too bad that Slammin’ Sammy has turned into Sam the Sham in a couple short years but, I can’t. I have no sympathy for a guy who feels he is above the game when in fact any game he had seems to have had left him years ago. Why not take this job and prove to us that you’ve still got some juice, I mean gas left in the tank? I mean, $500,000 is nothing to sneeze at, and for Shammy’s sake that is a good thing, wouldn’t want to throw out the old back again, would we? If only there was a way to somehow put some cork in that contract so he could inflate those numbers too….