Fucked Sports™

Veteran musher Jeff King drove his dog team into the Bering Sea town of Nome on Wednesday to capture the 1,100-mile Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Race, the world’s premier dog-sled event, for the fourth time.King, of Denali, Alaska, finished the race in nine days, 11 hours, 11 minutes and 36 seconds, leaving him almost three hours ahead of his closest competitor, four-time winner Doug Swingley of Montana.

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

U.S. Olympian and much-hyped skiier Bode Miller made it official, he’s not bringing home any medals from Italy. He went 0 for 5 in his attempts including 3 DNF’s, and his highest placing was fifth. GET THAT MAN A DRINK!!!

Miller appeared unfazed by his lack of success: “The expectations were other people’s…I’m comfortable with what I’ve accomplished, including at the Olympics. I came in here to race as hard as I could. That was my obligation to myself….I got to party and socialize at an Olympic level.” YEAH, OKAY. NEWS FLASH DUMBASS, NIKE (REMEMBER THEM?) SPONSORED YOU IN HOPES THAT YOU WOULD BRING HOME MORE THAN STD’s…

Soon after an injured Kwan bowed out of the games, NBC courted the athlete they had banked on being its biggest draw, hoping to lure her into the broadcast booth. Sorry no dice suckas!

The star withdrew from the Olympics on Sunday because of a strained groin muscle, ending her quest for her first gold medal in what was expected to be one of the most compelling stories in Turin.

Whoa, one hell of a night in Turino. I always knew those Italians were wild!